The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
