omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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