Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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