we have pet lesbian snakes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
