Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
