If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i out mim tonsoeep
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