I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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