Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
