So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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