Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
