My nipple is on Facebook.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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