Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
