Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
