i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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