fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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