I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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