So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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