i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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