Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
