Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
