"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
