Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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