just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
