at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
