i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
