Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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