in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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