And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
