Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
