it wasn't lemon gatorade
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
