Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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