Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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