just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
