I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
