either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
