goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
