bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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