I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we have pet lesbian snakes
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
4 words: hood of his car
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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