eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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