He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize