I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
