I can tuck mytits in my pants
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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