The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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