one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
