Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
