i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
