we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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