halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
