you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
