he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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