even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
